Truth and Faith in Cancer Ordeal

This paper was an assignment for Professor Bradford's Sociology class, which was much like a religion class with a sociology basis.

Sociology Class Assignment, 1970

   On Sept. 1, 1970, I was laying in a hospital bed in Salt Lake City and thinking about life and the many things I had learned and experienced in my 20 years on Earth. On the next day, I was to go through an experience that would change my life in every way.

   As the staff wheeled me back into my room after a very  serious operation,  I  realized  that  if I could  see below my waist, I would find only one leg where there had been two only hours earlier.

What does a person think about when he knows he has cancer, when he knows he must lose one of his legs, when he knows there is a possibility that he will die?

   Only a week earlier, I was a patient in a different hospital in the little country of Costa Rica when the doctor and my mission president, Milton E. Smith, explained, through the sad silence, that I would be going home the next morning by  jet airline so the doctors back state-side could work on me.

   At that time, neither really explained the seriousness of the situation. But after I had arrived in Utah and the doctor who had been retained by the church had examined the X-ray, my knee and some tissue samples, he said – quite frankly – "You know we'll have to amputate your leg.” He also said that if the operation was success­ful, it would stop any cancer from spreading to other parts of my body by eliminating the part of the body in which it was growing.

   Three days elapsed before the operation while I, mentally and spiritually, sought the strength I would need.

   In prayer that first night, I called on God to please give me strength and understanding – and to help me through this challenging situation. To give me the faith I needed. This strength and help did come, while all those around me were happily surprised by my attitude and happy spirit.

   Following the operation, I realized that without the help of God, without the realization that God lives,   without the assurance that I will resurrect in a more perfect state, I think I would have cursed, life and   damned the Heavens, while sinking into a bottomless despair.

   This is the most important goal in our mortal life: "To know God and his Son Jesus Christ. I know that they live and that they love us and will help us if we will have faith in them. What a glorious thing it is to know that life does not end here on earth and that at the time of resurrection, I will once again be able to run and jump on two firm legs.

   During this trial, when the thoughts of a future death did come into my mind, I  felt that, though I had lived only 20 years, I had accomplished things  and  done things that made me feel as though 1 had had a complete life. (I was probably very wrong, but that is how I felt.)

   Don't think I felt I had conquered all evil, because I hadn't nor have I yet. But I did feel calm. The one thing I knew I lacked was to be married in the Temple of the Lord.

   I also felt happy that I didn’t wait until I was older to become active in everything but that I had been   constantly active in doing things, what I felt were worthwhile.

   Also, I had been on a mission and had felt that joy that comes to a person when he sees one, to whom he has brought the message of the restored gospel, excel in his life.

   If I were to name the most important values in life, I would point to God and to a Christ-like life to be the goal in one’s life while always doing those things that are good and helping others try to reach that same goal.